I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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