Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
