Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
BRING THE BAGELS
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
