Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you had me at cake vodka
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
