i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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