god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
