she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
