And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm getting married
To pizza
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
