Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
