When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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