Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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