hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize