OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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