I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
