Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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