Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
