um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
