i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will be naked everywhere
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
