sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
