we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
then he tried to convert me to islam
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
