no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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