Where is the hickey?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
