I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
