It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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