I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
