And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
