Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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