And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize