Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
