Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
