and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
