don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize