Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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