I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
