I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
