the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
