and you said cock pushups were impossible
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
did you just send me my own nude
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
