You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
