I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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