he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
