It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
