how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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