the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
