dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
