these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
