I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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