is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
