The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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