Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize