I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
