You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
