i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
