I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
