awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
