garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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