That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
