So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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