jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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