Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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