You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize