i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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