the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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