He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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