My nipple is on Facebook.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Randomize
