there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
