What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
